The priest last night said he has missionary friends who always sign their letters, “In God’s Heart.” That really struck me. What if we were to fully realize such a message? What if, no matter what the circumstance, no matter what the label is that stays attached to us, no matter what our socio-economic state, no matter our ability or disability, no matter our understanding of faith or lack thereof, we kept within us at all times the life-affirming knowledge that we are in God’s heart? How might governments change? How might school systems and health systems and care for our elders change? How might the distribution of wealth and power change? And closer yet, what might happen within families? What new intimacies might occur? What might give way in the unhealthy drives towards addictions and fame and fortune if above, under, and over all were the peace of acceptance?
A young friend and I were playing a word association game recently. You know, she’d say moon and I’d say stars. She’d say dew and I’d say wet. Then she said, rich. And I said, fun! Of course, I was thinking purely of money, how I have so little of it, how I live in this day to day wonderment of how in the world the next bill will be paid… and how absolutely fun it would be to be free of such constant pressure. It would be fun to be able to buy gifts for friends, to repay my Dad for the four new tires he bought to replace the almost explosive tires I’d been riding on. It would be fun to make plans for a vacation. It would be fun to feel I could actually toss some cash towards my daughter to help her as she begins the adult life which seems so much about earning money.
But then, the realization comes… I am in the heart of God. My daughter is in the heart of God. My father is in the heart of God, as are my friends, as are we all. I’m not rich in the financial sense and chances are pretty high that wealth will never be my lot in life. But here is my freedom. If I am indeed in the heart of God, the weight of holding and clinging to and acquiring more of that which is sparkly and shallow, falls away… and what I am left with is everything. This isn’t some mystical wish or sweet, sappy dream. This is truth. This is gift. This is a place where I’ve never been, a place I have fought. I have cursed the instability. I have fired the institutions that have wounded me. I have pushed to persevere, to prove myself, to claim a life I have not known how to claim. Lots of tears and screaming and war within until finally I hear, I return to, I am born into the deeper knowing that I am in the heart of God.
Like leaves, green for seasons, changes come, and then there is a letting go. Without being told, without instructions, without money or glory or attention… the leaves fall freely with sighing and joy. Can we explain this? I don’t think so. Do we need to? No, not really. But we can show up to our own processes and explorations. We can find our way to the intrinsic being of our own souls and shake hands with that which frightens us, that which belittles us, that which allows and even invites us to the starving, and say, “Come. Sit with me awhile. I’ll befriend you and in doing so, we shall find ourselves whole.”
A young friend and I were playing a word association game recently. You know, she’d say moon and I’d say stars. She’d say dew and I’d say wet. Then she said, rich. And I said, fun! Of course, I was thinking purely of money, how I have so little of it, how I live in this day to day wonderment of how in the world the next bill will be paid… and how absolutely fun it would be to be free of such constant pressure. It would be fun to be able to buy gifts for friends, to repay my Dad for the four new tires he bought to replace the almost explosive tires I’d been riding on. It would be fun to make plans for a vacation. It would be fun to feel I could actually toss some cash towards my daughter to help her as she begins the adult life which seems so much about earning money.
But then, the realization comes… I am in the heart of God. My daughter is in the heart of God. My father is in the heart of God, as are my friends, as are we all. I’m not rich in the financial sense and chances are pretty high that wealth will never be my lot in life. But here is my freedom. If I am indeed in the heart of God, the weight of holding and clinging to and acquiring more of that which is sparkly and shallow, falls away… and what I am left with is everything. This isn’t some mystical wish or sweet, sappy dream. This is truth. This is gift. This is a place where I’ve never been, a place I have fought. I have cursed the instability. I have fired the institutions that have wounded me. I have pushed to persevere, to prove myself, to claim a life I have not known how to claim. Lots of tears and screaming and war within until finally I hear, I return to, I am born into the deeper knowing that I am in the heart of God.
Like leaves, green for seasons, changes come, and then there is a letting go. Without being told, without instructions, without money or glory or attention… the leaves fall freely with sighing and joy. Can we explain this? I don’t think so. Do we need to? No, not really. But we can show up to our own processes and explorations. We can find our way to the intrinsic being of our own souls and shake hands with that which frightens us, that which belittles us, that which allows and even invites us to the starving, and say, “Come. Sit with me awhile. I’ll befriend you and in doing so, we shall find ourselves whole.”
RSS Feed
