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To My Inner Judge

9/2/2016

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I believe that your voice is well-meaning.  I believe that your negativity and worry are only meant to improve and keep my life safe.  I think your prodding and skillful demands for achievement and success are meant to add life to my life and also to the lives of others.
 
But here’s the thing.  I don’t think your versions of achievement and success are my versions.  And the worry, well it makes me so tired and bored.  And the pushing is simply uncalled for.
 
Thanks for your contributions, but for now, I’m going to send you on a long vacation.  I’m choosing to listen to voices that have been pretty much drowned out by your volume.  I’m bringing on board the following friends:
 
Wide Open
Faith
Trust
Possibility
Generosity
And last but not least, Whimsy
 
What if living closest to that which make me most awake and happy is where I am meant to live?
What if feeding my truths means I am also feeding the truths of others?
What if what is at my very core becomes fully flesh?
What if fitting in becomes excused from this story and busting loose is finally welcomed?
 
I know you are proud of how well for 5 decades I’ve followed your leading.  But we’ve all got to cut those apron strings, and I’m picking up my scissors today.  When you come back from your vacation, I realize you will have much to say… and I will listen.  I’m just giving you fair warning that by that time, I will have become the teacher and you the student.  So, take your vitamins, rest up, and see if you can locate inside of you the still, small voice that has been yearning to speak for years.  We both know she wants to be heard.  I promise I’ll give you a safe space in which to welcome her.

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    Kathy Guisewite

    "To be about there
      first attend to what is here
      everything connects."  KFG

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