Isn’t it easy to get lost?  We rattle on engaged in any number of tasks.  We buy more stuff.  We make grand plans.  We try to keep up… keep the pace, keep the status quo, keep our titles or try to obtain more.  We serve and give and overextend because that’s what we are supposed to do (and in earnest, if we have good hearts, that’s what we want to do).  And then before we know it… wham.  We are standing in unknown territory wondering how in the world we got here.

Are you lost?  Are you burdened?  Might you feel you’ve discovered yourself under a huge rock upon which sits more rocks?  Me, too!  Recently, I was struggling to push that big rock and all the smaller ones off of me, but it wasn’t working out very well.  All of my muscles were shaking.  Sweat was getting in my eyes, and my head was pounding.  Like always in life, I just keep pushing and groaning and believing that with enough bullheaded determination, I would remove the weight bearing down on me.  Yeah, no.  All I got out of that deal was exhaustion.

But then the God moment came, you know that other experience you never see coming, and everything shifts.  Suddenly, I gave in.  I rested.  I released.  I noticed the moist scent of the warm, brown earth.  I felt the cool of grass and listened for the sound of seeds growing somewhere beneath me.  And I realized that this wasn’t so much about what was on top of me, bearing down upon me… but more about the fact that I was being held.  I was cupped in this place of lostness so that I could return to what is known… so I could return to what is always waiting patiently to be known.  The longer I rested here, the softer my body became which enabled the rocks to shift, and then to begin to tumble.  In time, there was a shaft of light that brightened the darkness and called to me like a gentle calling from sleep.  As I became aware that soon I would rise up from this place and return to familiar territory, I lingered here for a time, scratching a bit of the earth under my nails and pressing my fingerprints into the ground.

This is not lost.  This is remembering.  This is returning.

Blessed be the winding path that takes us here.

Blessed be the long shadows and the bearing weight that guide us toward our peace, our deepening, our own fertile ground.

I am in love with the crispness in the air and the thrill of witnessing another season change.  Autumn is beckoning us to cool down, to wake up, to grow into our own ripeness.  Just like that, she showed up, and I was compelled to join her in the early morning air with steamy tea and dreamy hopes.  It’s like Autumn dares us to put on ourselves.  She dares us to strip down to our barest essentials and pulse in the billowy glow of who we are without all of our earthly “stuff.”  Can’t you hear her?  “Ahh… come on honey.  Let’s go for a ride.  Let’s find out what you are truly made of!!”

Life is not turning out like I once thought it might.  None of this is even remotely close to the childhood girlish journal pages.  I constantly find myself thinking about how it will be one day, and I keep finding myself dangling out there in some future time.  I guess I’ve pretty much been doing that my whole life.  But Autumn came by this morning, like some raspy broad with fresh makeup on and she pretty much said, “Ahh, baby, to hell with that!  You gotta get your happy here.  It ain’t waiting down the road.  If you can’t find what you are looking for here, then no map is ever gonna help you.  Get over it and get on with it.”

So, I’m here today, girlfriends, and I’m loving this zany little life of mine… right here, right now.  There’s no prince charming.  There’s very little money.  You cannot sum me up by way of profession or livelihood.  But I am here, and I am present to what is.  I’m not rushing to the next thing, or spinning my wheels over what I don’t have.  I’m celebrating what comes.  Just when you think it’s all gone up in smoke, just when you think the next piece of bad luck is gonna rob you blind… the dream doesn’t necessarily come true… but the present moment does… and sometimes that is the sweetest thing there is.

So this is me this morning.  Certainly not a tragedy!  My eyes are smiling.  It's been a whirlwind week, and while I must admit to a number of good cries and one hearty meltdown... it has been one amazing week... undergirded by prayers and rich in blessings.  Within a few short days, my daughter interviewed and landed her first job since graduating from college.  She also found her first apartment.  I stand amazed at her "go get 'em" attitude and energy.  I'm really proud of her.  I'm also tender.  If you are a mother, you understand.  And as I witnessed the unfolding of this week, I found the need to record it as best I could.  So here is a taste...

Here is where we stopped for the official contract to be signed, fingerprints to be taken, papertrail to begin!

Chloe came along on this trip, and we found this delightful spot outside the school board office to wait for Hannah.  It was a gorgeous day, and as we sat together under the trees, our silence seemed full of thoughts.

"I thank you, God, for this most amazing day today. For the leaping greenly spirit of trees and the blue, true dream of the sky.  And for everything which is infinite, which is natural, which is yes."  (e e cummings)

Check!  My daughter found a job in the valley that she loves.  This check feels like a big, fat celebration!

Stopped here for Hannah to get her TB test.  Not her favorite stop of the day.  I'm praying it's the only time she visits this place!

Lunch break... we were both starving.  Ever since Hannah was a little girl, she has loved Chick-fil-A.  Just seemed right we shared lunch here.  Funny how memories flood in over a chicken sandwich!

Soon after the apartment was secured, we made time for friends, old ones from camp and college and...

new ones!  We also made time for cooling off with an old favorite at a new shop...

We filled the day with all that needed to be done and balanced it with good friends, good memories, and bright hopes for all that is ahead.

Soon, it was time to go home and pack for moving day...

So, yesterday was moving day.  Up by 5:30, two cars loaded and a truck on the way... we were ready to make it all happen!

Our arrival in Harrisonburg was positive and happy.  Even though we came through a downpour of rain... nothing in the truck got wet.  Yippee!!

This was this first wild and crazy neighbor we met.  He was one happy, energized pup... a great welcoming committee all by himself!!

We all had job assignments.  Grandma cleaned Hannah's kitchen.  Doesn't it look all shiny and bright? The spice rack full of spices was a birthday gift from Grandma.  As far as cooking goes, it seems my Mother's gifts skipped a generation, and went straight to Hannah!  I am convinced that lots of great food will be made in this kitchen!

Here's our God-send of a friend, Barb, who showed up like a little miracle!  She and Hannah's PaPa got her bedroom refreshed with a new coat of paint.  Isn't it pretty?  It's called minature violet.  (Another sentiment... I had a lavender room when I was young!)

This was one of Hannah's projects.  She cleaned the powder room in such a way it would make any Mama proud! 

In case you're wondering what my job was for the day (besides playing photographer!), I spent the majority of my time going in and out of Hannah's front door.  I was on toting detail... from the truck or cars up the stairs to the new home... boxes I carried!  Note:  The apartment is properly labeled for the arrival of my daughter!

And here we are at the end of the day... a happy crew... sweaty, tired, and happy.  What a family.  What a blessing to share this together.

I took this photo a few weeks ago while Hannah was here at home.  And this is Sleepy Bear... Hannah's own version of the Velveteen Rabbit.  Seeing this image made me realize that we've all grown up together, and that we're still growing and learning.  We're still loving as well.  It's always about the love.  Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise.  Everything, everyday... it's about the love.

And so, my daughter is in her new home, and I am here in our home.  There are lots of thoughts and feelings, but mostly I am thankful.  She is where she wants to be, spreading her wings and learning to fly.  And I am here picking wildflowers trusting that I, too, am finding my way.  I think this is what prayer looks like... every moment, each picture we take in our hearts and minds imparting blessings and hope... this is prayer and it sustains.  Doors swing wide.  Tears annoint the threshold, and then there is laughter... and life goes on.  Blessed be!