The other day I was taking a walk after work, trying to be healthy in mind, body, and spirit. As I walked I carried in my pocket my phone. I had been waiting all day, along with my family, for test results for one I love. I didn’t want to miss the call. It is hard to carry worries. It is hard to carry worries and go about life in a normal fashion, thus the walk.
In my little life, more and more I am aware of the hardships people face. And daily, I seek to open my heart to people and pray for them and love them as best I can. But while I was walking, I had a reaction to a stranger that was startling. In the midst of my own concerns, I try not to be self centered. I try to be present to others, to be gracious, and loving and kind. And so… as a woman pulled into her driveway and got out of her car, I spoke to her in that simple… hi, how are you kind of way. And she ignored me. She looked at me, she heard me, but then she ignored me. And just like that… I wanted to hum the phone in my pocket at her! I wanted to hit her in the head with my phone and say… I’m talking to you… I’m sad and bothered and lonely and tired… but I’m talking to you… and you need to be nice back!
Sometimes, I just want to lose it and lose it big. I want to grab people by their shirts and say, “Wake up!”
I want to say, “Nobody benefits from you acting like a jerk!” I want to say,“STOP!!! You
have got to get your act together!!” I mean, really! How does it help the world to be so lost, so bothered, so tired and lonely that… oh… right…that was me wanting to knock some sense into someone’s head. That was me about to be the jerk. That was me about to give up my pacifism and peace-making stance.
So, I guess this was a reality check. Maybe the woman getting out of her car had nothing nice to say and so she
chose the kindest thing and said nothing. Maybe she got the bad news on the way home from work. Maybe she was heading home to a husband who would be mad that she was late and no dinner on the table. Maybe she was deaf and didn’t hear a word I said. I don’t know. I do know that I can get easily frustrated with a variety of people who seem so rude and ruthless and uncaring. I get really perturbed with people who get happy by making others miserable. But then I am reminded that I have that capability as well, and I am the one who best be about the work of mindfulness and soul-care.
It’s not easy being human. We’ve all got so much to figure out, to carry, to integrate. But we all have beating hearts, too, and we ultimately each long to be seen and understood and loved. Maybe if we can try to remember that… and maybe if we can keep looking into the eyes of those we want to shake… and maybe if we can dig down deep into the troubled marrow of our own souls… we can evoke the turning of a new tide.
I pray tonight by the light of the moon and the starry, starry skies for our humanity to unfold our divinity… right before our very eyes.
In my little life, more and more I am aware of the hardships people face. And daily, I seek to open my heart to people and pray for them and love them as best I can. But while I was walking, I had a reaction to a stranger that was startling. In the midst of my own concerns, I try not to be self centered. I try to be present to others, to be gracious, and loving and kind. And so… as a woman pulled into her driveway and got out of her car, I spoke to her in that simple… hi, how are you kind of way. And she ignored me. She looked at me, she heard me, but then she ignored me. And just like that… I wanted to hum the phone in my pocket at her! I wanted to hit her in the head with my phone and say… I’m talking to you… I’m sad and bothered and lonely and tired… but I’m talking to you… and you need to be nice back!
Sometimes, I just want to lose it and lose it big. I want to grab people by their shirts and say, “Wake up!”
I want to say, “Nobody benefits from you acting like a jerk!” I want to say,“STOP!!! You
have got to get your act together!!” I mean, really! How does it help the world to be so lost, so bothered, so tired and lonely that… oh… right…that was me wanting to knock some sense into someone’s head. That was me about to be the jerk. That was me about to give up my pacifism and peace-making stance.
So, I guess this was a reality check. Maybe the woman getting out of her car had nothing nice to say and so she
chose the kindest thing and said nothing. Maybe she got the bad news on the way home from work. Maybe she was heading home to a husband who would be mad that she was late and no dinner on the table. Maybe she was deaf and didn’t hear a word I said. I don’t know. I do know that I can get easily frustrated with a variety of people who seem so rude and ruthless and uncaring. I get really perturbed with people who get happy by making others miserable. But then I am reminded that I have that capability as well, and I am the one who best be about the work of mindfulness and soul-care.
It’s not easy being human. We’ve all got so much to figure out, to carry, to integrate. But we all have beating hearts, too, and we ultimately each long to be seen and understood and loved. Maybe if we can try to remember that… and maybe if we can keep looking into the eyes of those we want to shake… and maybe if we can dig down deep into the troubled marrow of our own souls… we can evoke the turning of a new tide.
I pray tonight by the light of the moon and the starry, starry skies for our humanity to unfold our divinity… right before our very eyes.
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