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Tucked In

1/26/2014

1 Comment

 
Many years ago, we gathered under a small shelter from the heat of that blazing summer day.  We came in our flip flops, in our ordinary bodies, and in our extraordinary souls.  We came to say good-bye.  I was letting go of a
dream, a life-long dream that was not to be.  And I simply couldn’t do it by myself.  And so women came to sit
with me, to hold my hand, to whisper words of comfort that only my spirit, not my mind, could comprehend. Some sang.  Some cried with me.  Some simply sat quietly.
 
One friend, touched her hand to her own tears and then touched those tears to the ones on my face.  She said to me, “You shall not grieve alone.  You shall not experience this sorrow without the knowledge that we all feel your pain and by this sharing… we are found… even as all else feels lost.”
 
Today, I have learned that this friend in this moment is saying good-bye to her daughter.  Good-bye to her daughter whose life was snatched by an unintentional overdose of drugs.  How will my friend ever find her breath again?  How will my friend live when her heart is shattered?  How can our children be here one moment… so gorgeous and vibrant and challenging and endearing… and seconds later lost to what cannot be restored? How and why?  What happened?  How do the tragedies of life overwhelm the possibilities of life in such horrific
fashion?
 
And in this same day, my own child’s friend is saying good-bye to her grandfather.  And in this same day, another blessed friend of mine is mourning the loss of her family as members rend relationships with scarring words and ill wishes upon even the youngest.
 
And also today, I bear witness to the daily struggles so many face… those who are my family as well as those for whom I cannot call by name.  People are angry and frustrated and overwhelmed and poor and disenfranchised and enticed over and over and over again by that which sparkles but which falls apart in our hands.  We cannot understand why or how my friend’s daughter found herself turning to drugs when so much love lit her life.  But we must, we must, we must… return to the shelter, away from the sun and pray for our lives.  We must grow still and allow the tears of this day to rest as balm upon our troubled world.  
 
Life is good enough and hard enough to let go of anything and everything that does not restore the soul of our world.  I promise, this day, to stand truer to all that is loving and strong and kind and wise.  I promise to listen
to the whispers of my deepest self so that my own work builds up and blesses the work of all of those around me.  Aren’t we all just trying to find our way?  We are trying to find our way not towards the pot of gold or fame or superiority… but towards our own purest wonder? If we could just live the light inside of us… if we could simply trust our own goodness… then peace would come… so sweetly… so completely.  So, my friends, let us promise this day to cast more light than shadow… to resolve that our breath, our time on this earth is purposeful… and that purpose is for good.
 
This little bird has been outside of my window today.  She wasn’t interested in eating the seed in the feeder.  She simply needed a place to rest.  So she perched on the edge of the feeder, tucked her head inside her wing, and
slept.  Trucks rolled up and down the street.  Doors opened and closed.  Kids rode their bikes.  And all the while, she slept.  Perhaps she also dreamed or healed or hoped.  Maybe like me, or like my friend saying good-bye to her daughter and the friend of my child saying good-bye to her grandfather, or like my other friend mending from family scars… this little bird knew her truth and decided to set it free. May it be so.  May it be so.
 
For: B and K and N and for all the rest of us, too.

Picture
1 Comment
Rheba
1/26/2014 08:58:04 am

Kathy, this is amazing. I have shed some tears reading it. Thank you, my friend.

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    Kathy Guisewite

    "To be about there
      first attend to what is here
      everything connects."  KFG

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