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Notes from the Single Self to the One Day Coupled Self

2/26/2015

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  • Should you and your husband enjoy taking walks together, sometimes hold his hand.  Other times, walk with your hands in your pockets and remember how many miles you walked alone.  Remember how you took in the landscape, how you talked to and listened for God, how you thanked yourself and your body when you arrived back home again.  Always hug him before you walk back in the house.

  • On those cold, frosty mornings when you go out to clean the ice or snow off of your car, clean off his has well.  Remember how you wished for such thoughtfulness when you lived alone.  You know how to do this, so be generous of spirit.

  • If you and your husband have a dinner party and invite both couples and singles… always invite two or more singles.  It’s never fun being the third wheel.

  • When you pay your bills together, remember the effort of finances as a single person, and faithfully donate funds that cover heating bills and food costs of those who struggle with such.

  • When you encounter people who are grieving the loss of a spouse either by way of death or divorce, or you recognize the loneliness of single friends, go out of your way to be present and thoughtful.  Consider if it is more helpful to do this as a couple or as individuals.

  • When he makes you laugh, and pure joy feels every cell of your being… feel it, honor it, and allow it to heal what grew hard inside.

  • When he hands you a compliment, hold it to your heart long enough that you realize the truth in it.

  • When you are tired or hungry or frustrated, and he tips the apple cart, figure out how to make pie together as you talk it all through.

  • Honor your individual friends, and keep sacred what sustains those relationships.

  • Make a home together that begs others to come in.

  • Always say it sooner rather than later.

  • Take nothing for granted.

  • Bless the people who have loved him all along the way.

  • Thank him every day for some aspect of your relationship.

  • As much as you prayed for God to lead the two of you together, keep praying that God will guide your path as a couple and as individuals.

  • Invest in open communication, personal growth, and happiness so that the basket is always spilling over for the greater good.

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    Kathy Guisewite

    "To be about there
      first attend to what is here
      everything connects."  KFG

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