Have you noticed how life gets all mixed up? It seems more and more that few experiences are clear cut. You know, like when you were a kid and your birthday was the best day of the year. Or Christmas was sheer, pure fun and excitement. It wasn’t confusing. The feeling was one, and it was joy.
But as we become older, it happens more and more that feelings on any given occasion are layered. I’m thinking about all of this in the midst of the season of Easter. My beloved friend, Susan, is one who marks Easter as one of the happiest, most sacred days on her calendar. She is a follower of Jesus, and her faith is born of this celebration. But today, she weeps. Today she is tinged with the complexity of emotions. She yearns to lift a glad spirit toward Heaven (and I know in her own special way, she will), to celebrate this date circled on her calendar and yet, her heart aches with heavy pain. This Easter marks the one year anniversary of the passing of her cherished husband, Billy. She is still sorrowful amidst the Easter hallelujahs and family festivities.
Friday was Good Friday. It’s a day of grieving in the Christian church. Many years, I’ve sat on a church pew crying my eyes out as we remembered the death of Jesus. It is a somber tradition to grapple with our thoughts and emotions around the death of God’s precious Son, Jesus. I’ve noticed for many, many years that it often rains on Good Friday, and there has been comfort in such. Sure enough, this year, it rained… was grey all day. But this year, I wasn’t crying in a church sanctuary. I traveled for four hours with my dear daughter and her boyfriend to hear a friend in concert. We talked and laughed and sang old and new songs the entire trip. And once we were there, we were there… in the moment, filled with joy and happy, happy feelings. The place was packed and people were eating and drinking and clapping and dancing. The people in that place were about joy, not sadness. And by the way, would you like to know the name of my friend’s band? They are called ‘Joy Kills Sorrow’! On Good Friday, I was reminded that joy kills sorrow. It just seemed like something Jesus might say. For a moment that night, I thought I caught a glimpse of him on the dance floor.
I do believe that Christ is alive and happy. I do believe that Billy is up on a ladder in Heaven fixing someone’s broken window and that Jesus is passing him the tools he needs. I trust that when we are sad on Easter morning, God gets that. As well I trust that when sheer happiness steps up on a Good Friday evening, it is perfectly blessed to appreciate that. I believe with my whole heart that God, the Maker of the Universe and you and me, loves so completely that we need never question if we are getting it ‘right’. I also believe that God, like every truly loving parent in the world, wishes so much for all of us to be happy.
If you are happy today, then be happy. If you are sad, then be in those feelings. And if you find both feelings present, then gently honor the rising and falling of each. No matter what, no matter how we feel today or the next day, God is alive and in our midst. If we truly believe in the mystery of Easter, we have every reason to turn our smiling tear-filled eyes toward Heaven and simply give thanks for the love that sees and understands all.
But as we become older, it happens more and more that feelings on any given occasion are layered. I’m thinking about all of this in the midst of the season of Easter. My beloved friend, Susan, is one who marks Easter as one of the happiest, most sacred days on her calendar. She is a follower of Jesus, and her faith is born of this celebration. But today, she weeps. Today she is tinged with the complexity of emotions. She yearns to lift a glad spirit toward Heaven (and I know in her own special way, she will), to celebrate this date circled on her calendar and yet, her heart aches with heavy pain. This Easter marks the one year anniversary of the passing of her cherished husband, Billy. She is still sorrowful amidst the Easter hallelujahs and family festivities.
Friday was Good Friday. It’s a day of grieving in the Christian church. Many years, I’ve sat on a church pew crying my eyes out as we remembered the death of Jesus. It is a somber tradition to grapple with our thoughts and emotions around the death of God’s precious Son, Jesus. I’ve noticed for many, many years that it often rains on Good Friday, and there has been comfort in such. Sure enough, this year, it rained… was grey all day. But this year, I wasn’t crying in a church sanctuary. I traveled for four hours with my dear daughter and her boyfriend to hear a friend in concert. We talked and laughed and sang old and new songs the entire trip. And once we were there, we were there… in the moment, filled with joy and happy, happy feelings. The place was packed and people were eating and drinking and clapping and dancing. The people in that place were about joy, not sadness. And by the way, would you like to know the name of my friend’s band? They are called ‘Joy Kills Sorrow’! On Good Friday, I was reminded that joy kills sorrow. It just seemed like something Jesus might say. For a moment that night, I thought I caught a glimpse of him on the dance floor.
I do believe that Christ is alive and happy. I do believe that Billy is up on a ladder in Heaven fixing someone’s broken window and that Jesus is passing him the tools he needs. I trust that when we are sad on Easter morning, God gets that. As well I trust that when sheer happiness steps up on a Good Friday evening, it is perfectly blessed to appreciate that. I believe with my whole heart that God, the Maker of the Universe and you and me, loves so completely that we need never question if we are getting it ‘right’. I also believe that God, like every truly loving parent in the world, wishes so much for all of us to be happy.
If you are happy today, then be happy. If you are sad, then be in those feelings. And if you find both feelings present, then gently honor the rising and falling of each. No matter what, no matter how we feel today or the next day, God is alive and in our midst. If we truly believe in the mystery of Easter, we have every reason to turn our smiling tear-filled eyes toward Heaven and simply give thanks for the love that sees and understands all.
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