I was going merrily along my way, teaching, creating, preaching, being with those I love in deep, meaningful ways and bam… I went and got pneumonia. Do I slow down? Barely. It’s just feels like such a waste of time to hang out on the couch and count all the things I want to do and need to do. Being sick is not in my nature! I fight it, well, I guess like all of the other vulnerable place I stumble into. It’s like I slam into a wall and rather than sit down and tend the wounds, I just try to keep moving the wall. It’s amusing, isn’t it? Yeah, I know. I need to practice what I preach.
So, I rested as best I could for two days, but then I felt like I would scream and decided to go to work. Hey. We all get the quality of paybacks when you get behind in special education especially during IEP season. My kindergartener made me laugh. My preschooler was precocious and adorable all at once. My middle school student reminded me again of his really good heart. From school to school my body yelled, “Are you nuts?” But I did the day, and found the goodness in it.
Now, today, my little Chloe is ill. She’s my dear dog, my best dog friend as I tell her. She has had ugly run-ins with seizures over the years, but with good meds we’ve been able to manage them. The new thing started at 4am when her breathing woke me up (from that deep sleep my body craved and earned by being housed in my keep-going mindset). For every breath I took, she was taking three or four. What is this? Are you kidding me? All I knew to do was take her out into the night air and tell her we’ll figure it out. We sat in the cool of darkness listening to some bird crazier than me sing her heart out while the tree frogs simply hummed along. We sat there in the stillness listening to each other breathe. We sat there until the bed called us back. And then we slept heart to heart like childhood sisters.
When Chloe refused her breakfast, I knew we were in trouble. The vet checked her out, said that her left lung is compromised for some reason, took a blood sample to run some tests, and gave her some medicine that should help her breathe easier. We agreed to give it 24 hours and see where Chloe is tomorrow.
Once home, life has been about my dear dog. I’ve encouraged her to drink her water, and I drank mine, too. I’ve said to her, “Let’s get cozy on the couch together.” And we piled on the blankets and snuggled… her body to mine and mine to hers. We ate lunch. Soup for me and moist wet canned food for her (she liked it so much… yea!). Then we went upstairs where I thought I’d tuck her in nice in our bed, and then I’d get back to business. But business didn’t sit well with me as Chloe’s breathing was still so labored. So I piled in with her and together we slept for two hours. We slept to the CD BEYOND and I prayed, as I always have for this creature that I love so much.
Now we’ve had a little yogurt, a candle is lit, and this Lenten wall hanging I’m watching create itself is tending my spirit as I pin it together here on the bedroom floor while Chloe sleeps on her little bed beside me.
Chloe makes me go soft. She brings to life the ease that rounds the harsh edges to blurry, beautiful tenderness... a tenderness that brings me back to what heals, what feeds, what matters.
I don’t know what’s going to unfold tomorrow, but I know in my heart that we’ll be better for today. Thank you, Chloe. May easy breathing and renewed energy be the blessings of this night.
So, I rested as best I could for two days, but then I felt like I would scream and decided to go to work. Hey. We all get the quality of paybacks when you get behind in special education especially during IEP season. My kindergartener made me laugh. My preschooler was precocious and adorable all at once. My middle school student reminded me again of his really good heart. From school to school my body yelled, “Are you nuts?” But I did the day, and found the goodness in it.
Now, today, my little Chloe is ill. She’s my dear dog, my best dog friend as I tell her. She has had ugly run-ins with seizures over the years, but with good meds we’ve been able to manage them. The new thing started at 4am when her breathing woke me up (from that deep sleep my body craved and earned by being housed in my keep-going mindset). For every breath I took, she was taking three or four. What is this? Are you kidding me? All I knew to do was take her out into the night air and tell her we’ll figure it out. We sat in the cool of darkness listening to some bird crazier than me sing her heart out while the tree frogs simply hummed along. We sat there in the stillness listening to each other breathe. We sat there until the bed called us back. And then we slept heart to heart like childhood sisters.
When Chloe refused her breakfast, I knew we were in trouble. The vet checked her out, said that her left lung is compromised for some reason, took a blood sample to run some tests, and gave her some medicine that should help her breathe easier. We agreed to give it 24 hours and see where Chloe is tomorrow.
Once home, life has been about my dear dog. I’ve encouraged her to drink her water, and I drank mine, too. I’ve said to her, “Let’s get cozy on the couch together.” And we piled on the blankets and snuggled… her body to mine and mine to hers. We ate lunch. Soup for me and moist wet canned food for her (she liked it so much… yea!). Then we went upstairs where I thought I’d tuck her in nice in our bed, and then I’d get back to business. But business didn’t sit well with me as Chloe’s breathing was still so labored. So I piled in with her and together we slept for two hours. We slept to the CD BEYOND and I prayed, as I always have for this creature that I love so much.
Now we’ve had a little yogurt, a candle is lit, and this Lenten wall hanging I’m watching create itself is tending my spirit as I pin it together here on the bedroom floor while Chloe sleeps on her little bed beside me.
Chloe makes me go soft. She brings to life the ease that rounds the harsh edges to blurry, beautiful tenderness... a tenderness that brings me back to what heals, what feeds, what matters.
I don’t know what’s going to unfold tomorrow, but I know in my heart that we’ll be better for today. Thank you, Chloe. May easy breathing and renewed energy be the blessings of this night.
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