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Funny How That Works

9/5/2013

4 Comments

 
Today I took myself to the doctor.  She sent me for a chest x-ray and blood work.  Now I am home, and will be at home for the next three days.  She told me to rest.  I cannot tell you what a relief that is!  It takes a whole lot for me to decide I am not well.  I need a raging fever or a back full of muscle spasms to slow me down. No matter how poorly I feel, I tend to always think I can keep going!!  But today, I was so thankful to have a professional tell me it is time to take a break.  (Yes, there is a therapy session or two needed to resolve my need for someone else to give me permission to time out… but that’s another story!)
 
I don’t know what this is from a medical standpoint.  I’ll get test results tomorrow, but here is what I do know. 
I function best with simplicity.  I like slow.  I like time in which to be thoughtful and kind and generous.  I like to notice sunrises and little birdsongs.  I don’t believe that we need more to do in order to have or be more.  I trust quiet.  I swirl like a little girl in a twirly dress at moments that finally peel us back to sanity and compassion and good humor and love.  I adore, absolutely adore, wisdom that tosses out bureaucracy, pettiness, and small-mindedness. I need nature to ground me.  I need art to feed me.  I need prayer to steady me.

Of late, I’ve been on some kind of inner crash course on how to wreak havoc on my soul.  My pace, my lists, my drive to give has intensified so much that I cannot slow my body down enough to sleep at night.  I worry.  I worry about work and family and relationships and wars and the future and my own one life in which I want to do everything and be this amazing gloriosa daisy girl who lives into her own wondrous potential fully.  Sheesh!  Just naming all of that makes me want to go take another nap! Why have I joined the worldly craze of be all and do all?
 
Sometimes, I think the best thing for me and for so many others on this less-than-fun merry go ride is to sit still and watch the mountains change in color as day turns to night.  I think it is healthy to make old fashioned casseroles and remember how our grandmothers made them and really pay attention to stirring and temperatures
and timing and how good the house begins to smell.  And then to just pick up the phone and find someone at home who had been wishing all day for someone to cook them a casserole and invite them to come and share the meal together.  I think a slow walk and gentle conversation on the front porch with candles lit at the end of the day is the best bedtime prayer.



I believe all of this. 
I know it as truth, but I haven’t been living it. 
My body has now decided to be stronger than my mind and make me sick so I can find my way back.  Wow!  Now isn’t that just something?  No matter how much the brain is labeled as the place of knowledge and wisdom… the body and soul speak clearer and truer.  To every ache, to the drain of energy, to the headaches and shortness of breath… thank you. Thank you for knocking some sense into my head.  Namaste.

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4 Comments
Peg Lehman
9/5/2013 09:49:49 am

Wonderful! I've been sick this week too and it's forced me to slow down and pace myself. I:m so tired from lack of sleep, I have little energy to fret. The body is definitely smarter than the mind!

Reply
Joy
9/5/2013 10:20:37 am

Yes, dear one. Yes. Not 'yes, dear' like I already knew this, but yes...you speak the truth. Rest. Be. Don't improve yourself. (the caterpillarl doesn't). xoxoxo

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Leslie Yockey-Seese
9/5/2013 12:52:18 pm

Awww, thank you sweet Kathy. I needed to hear that soooo much. I am wracked with anger over injustice right now and can't get out of it. I know what you are saying and I can hear your soft gentle voice saying all that to me, too. Pray for me while I pray for you. Tomorrow is decision day and 55 of our staff will be laid off. Knowing the injustice that this organization lives by is so irrational that no one can guess who it will be and why. And it is all done with JESUS' name plaster on the masthead of the message. Our mission is to carry on the healing ministry of Jesus Christ and treat each one with dignity and respect. And that happens by all us worker bees but the millionaire CEO's are not being affected and they continue to get raises and are not making any cuts in their own areas.

Just pray hard for me. One Valium down and a half glass of wine and I'll be asleep soon. Today will have to take care of itself until I get up.again. Hope you are resting well..

Reply
Jan
9/8/2013 10:46:06 am

Love your honesty and intentionality to "listen" to body, mind, Spirit.
Of late I too am practicing old fashioned cooking in an attempt to slow down and smell the party that happens b/c someone has given "time' to hospitality. Thanks for putting into lovely words thoughts that touch my soul. Hugs and casseroles!

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    Kathy Guisewite

    "To be about there
      first attend to what is here
      everything connects."  KFG

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