Pure love. It’s the love that flows from the Divine Source and takes our breath away because it rises above and filters through our human flesh and blood. When we bump into that kind of love, when the veil is lifted and we can recognize such… we come to life. Indeed, we find ourselves returning to the celebration we thought had
long since passed.
Last night I began reading Mark Nepo’s book FINDING THE COURAGE (2007). In his introduction he writes these wondrous words: “The word courage comes from the Latin cor, which literally means heart. The original use of the word courage means to stand by one’s core. This striking concept that reinforces the belief found in almost all traditions that living from the Center is what enables us to face whatever life has to offer.” He goes on to say that to sustain the practice of living from our core is to live out of our courage. Does this concept thrill you as much as
it thrills me? Oh, my!
So often, courage is portrayed as power and might. It is portrayed as big, fat muscles that level the bullies and the tyrants. It is revered as the attribute that raises up the underdog and slays the dragon. But when we come to the deeper knowledge that courage is actually tied to the heart, tied to the Center of all that is good…it takes on a revolutionary new meaning. I think this is what Markham meant, too. Courage is about linking arms with love and growing wise enough to know that everyone is working hard to figure out how to live into their core. Lots of times, they are drowning by way of this world’s overwhelm. Many times the wounds inflicted upon them bothers (who are also wounded) leave scar tissue so thick it is impossible to imagine life full and free and healed. So they bash the heads of others. They cut them to the quick with demeaning words, by cold walls and barbed boundaries. They knock down others so they can rise up tall.
Oh, yeah, and then, there’s Jesus reminding us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. And Buddha and the Virgin Mary and the Dali Lama and Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King and Mahatma Ghandi and Helen Keller… didn’t they all say similar words? And didn’t they all serve the world via theircor?
But here’s the thing. I want to do this. I practice. I pray. I listen deeply to the purest voice inside of me and daily open my being to walking the paths of courage. And yet…many times when I get knocked down by one flexing their muscles, I feel really small. I buy into their words and their might, and I feel less. I question my worth, my purpose, my own goodness. I sometimes think I might as well stay in the dirt, because who I am is not what the world claims to need. I lose my courage in every way. I have zero interest in drawing a wider circle. As a matter of fact, what I would most appreciate in those moments is for the person wounding me to just vanish. Poof! And my oppression ends, right? Uhh… maybe, but maybe not.
Maybe the wider circle is for me to draw around my own heart. Maybe the courage is not so much to combat those around me, but to embrace more and more the person I am created to be so I can love others in truer ways. Maybe this is the wit Markham says leads to winning.
One more truth? I don’t like praying for my oppressors. I don’t want to pray for the people who hurt those I love. I don’t want a happy party for the people who condemn my light. I want them to be humbled. I want them to get a taste of their own medicine. I want to have my own powerful words that make their eyes pop wide and leave them speechless. I want them to realize the despair they cause others. Pretty ugly… my truth.
So, what I am hoping today is that I can become more courageous… which for me means…more tender, more innocent, more playful, more poetic, more aware, more patient, more loving. As I live into my own heart, maybe I will slowly live into the hearts of those I wish would vanish.
By the way, today is Valentine’s Day… and if I could wish you something in addition to love…
I wish you courage.